Let’s face it, things are NOT easy for anyone right now thanks to Covid-19. Those of us who are home may be feeling cooped up and antsy to get out and socialize. Some of us lost our income because of everything going on. Some of us are considered essential employees and are still heading out into the scary world to do our jobs.

I’ve seen hilarious videos of people working from home trying to use Zoom for conference calls only to see kids video bombing in the background. I’ve seen people on the phone who have to continuously hit mute because their children are, well, being children. I laugh at all of them. Not because I can’t relate or it seems ridiculous, but because I can sooo relate.

The thing is, sometimes, we get so wrapped up in what we ‘have to’ do and how stressed out we are that we forget that our children are watching. They feel the stress we’re giving off. Some may be too young to understand yet what they’re living through but feelings are universal.

My youngest is 4 and I can tell you he definitely doesn’t fully understand what’s going on. Every once in a while he asks me if we can go to McDonald’s. I have to tell him no because we shouldn’t go out unless it’s an emergency. I know McDonald’s delivers but seriously, I just don’t trust anything anyone touches anymore.

For a kid who didn’t really like going to the mall with me unless I promised to take him to the Lego store, Disney Store, and the Pet store, he asks if we can just go walk around the mall a LOT now. I have to remind him that the mall is closed. Every time he asks, I tell him the same thing, it’s closed because people are getting sick.

As his eyes shift to his cartoons on TV I realize that he’s not understanding what’s happening. The poor little guy doesn’t even know that there are other cities, states, or countries outside of our neighborhood, let alone a whole world where people are being careful not to get sick. He doesn’t know what death is and he doesn’t know what having to go to the hospital means.

All he understands is that Mami plays with him every day. He understands that we make snacks together and that we watch cartoons together. He understands that I love him and he understands that his Papi works (a lot) and doesn’t always have the energy to play with him. He understands that his big brother and big sister are home but he doesn’t know why his big sister isn’t at school and his big brother isn’t at work.

The innocence in his eyes is what catches me off guard sometimes. When he just won’t stop saying “Mami come here” or when he just won’t stop screaming or making loud noises. When he beats those friggin drums like he’s calling reinforcements. At those times, when I squat down to look into his eyes I see it. He feels stressed. He feels the changes. He feels cooped up. He just doesn’t know how to get it all out.

Imagine, being so young that you can’t articulate how you feel. Imagine just hoping that someone can figure out what you have going on inside of you so that they can “make it better” because you sure as heck don’t know how. Imagine being around people who are so stressed out and scared that they’ve changed how they talk or act, and it makes you feel different inside.

If you have to work from home and finding it hard to get everything done, or if you are just struggling to keep things normal for your little ones I have a few simple suggestions that may help.

First, schedule your day. The idea of setting your alarm may not appeal to you but I assure you that starting your day on purpose will make a difference in how you feel during the day. Keeping your kids on a schedule also helps them feel like they recognize their routines and help avoid meltdowns.

Think of new activities or new ways to do the same activities. Incorporating exercise can also help you feel more energetic throughout your day. Remember staying out till the street lights came back on? Remember being out all day in Spring and Summer and only stopping at home for a bathroom break or something to eat if you didn’t take care of those things at a friend’s house? What were you doing? Climbing a tree? Making a treehouse? Building a fort, playing hide and seek, kickball or jacks? Why not show your kids how to do all of those things by doing them together? Those things are sure to not only make for some great learning moments but will also create memories that you will both cherish forever.

Make sure you also keep your own stress in check. Try to keep thinking positively. Catastrophic thoughts will only lead to stress that will most certainly show in how you behave. If you can’t control your thoughts, at the very least, don’t talk about how you’re feeling within earshot of your children. Kids process things differently and things they don’t understand can turn into nightmares and fears that are hard to undo. Taking time for yourself will help you handle all the accidents, meltdowns, whining, and resistance you are bound to run into at any given point in time. Meditating, a warm bath or even reading a book at the end of your day can help you unwind and give you a feeling of a mini vacation.

Stop watching and reading about the news. Seriously, the only thing they air is bad news lately. It can give the false impression that there is nothing good happening in the world which will add to your stress. It’s good to be informed but it’s best not to obsess about everything. Keep your wits about you by just skimming what you need/want to know but don’t fall down the rabbit hole which may include conspiracy theories, misinformation, and opinions over facts.

Let virtual communication be a welcome part of your day. Keeping in touch with your friends and family is important and your children need their families and friends. You could try turning Sunday dinner into a Zoom dinner party. Or bedtime kisses into video “goodnights”. There is a way to include those you love into your day or week in a way that shows them it’s not an obligation to you but a need.

And finally, talk to your children. Let them lead the conversation in whatever direction they want to take it. Sometimes even the simplest conversation can help you understand what is going on in their heads. Knowing they can count on you to be there for them when they need you and even when they don’t know they need you is the best thing you can do for your little nuggets.