I know that this is a beauty blog and I write a lot about wedding stuff. Truth be told I absolutely LOVE weddings and brides so combining the two feels natural to me. Writing about all things beauty, for me, is writing about all things I consider beautiful. Not necessarily lip gloss and eyeliner but anything, quite honestly that I find beautiful. Peace of mind is one of those things. So here’s my take on money after coupling up and how to not over extend yourselves.

I been through my fair share of heartache and failed relationships. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes you really need to just rely on yourself for any and everything. If you let that sink in a bit with an open mind, you may get what I’m talking about. See, when you’re single, you’re relying on yourself. You pay your rent, you pay your car note, you pay for your utilities, food, gym membership, cell phone etc. It all comes from your hard work and dedication to yourself as an active participant in your own life.

Then you fall in love. You’ve met that other person that completely compliments your existence and makes you feel even more alive than before. Whether you marry or just move in together these are still very big deals and surely you’re not taking it lightly. You’re merging your lives, your stuff, you’re everything. Here’s where I’ve broken away from the mainstream way of thinking. Bear with me I’ll explain.

I’ve been in a relationship for 9 years and have lived with him for the last 7 or so. What we do financially however, is live based on one income. Yep, even when we are binging in two incomes, we’re living as though there is only one income rolling in. I’m sure some of you reading this are probably raising an eyebrow and wondering why in the world I would do that. I get it, cuz some people might not understand. See, if I have an apartment with my s/o and we sign a lease together to pay X amount per month and it is more than I can cover, then technically I’m financially relying on another person to fulfill my responsibility. If I go buy a car that I can only afford if my s/o is paying the light bill, I’m also relying on them to pay my car. Is this making sense?

I’ve been through divorce, breakups and downright hard times and the lesson I learned is, love with all your heart & give 100% of yourself to the person that will do the same in return. What I also learned is, work towards and pray for the best, but ALWAYS be prepared for the worst. Things happen in life that we don’t expect and we all have to be ready for it. I’m not even talking about divorce or breakups either! I mean yes those are two very real things that I personally have gone through, but I’m talking about surgery. I’m talking about getting injured and only having AFLAC to back you up. I’m talking about maternity leave. There are so many different things that can come up in life that can leave your hunny holding the financial hand basket.

Now imagine any or all of this happens to you BUT you’re living off of one income. You’ve got a hefty savings (cuz well, what else were you doing with your money) and your sweetheart isn’t going to break a sweat covering the household bills because that’s what you’ve been doing all along anyway! Now, neither one of you are worried about copays, losing your cars or your house or getting evicted from your apartments. You’re covered because you’ve been living like you’re single (money wise) while being coupled up.

I know it seems exciting when you go for your first home and they approve you for something like $300k, $400k or $500k based on both of your incomes, but this is where you have to be smart. You don’t WANT that. Cut it in half and shop for a more modest within your one income means to start with. Don’t go for the BMW, stick with the Honda. Up your 401k and start a Christmas fund. Pad your savings and take a small mini vacation one long weekend. It’s things like that, that you’re going to remember forever and will help you out in the long run.

One more thing! I know we all run our money how we feel it’s more comfortable but another thing I learned is this. Have two bank accounts. One that is your regular debit account and one that is just for paying bills. As you receive your phone bill, water bill, light bill, mortgage/rent, car and insurance move money from your regular debit account to your bills account. I do it bill by bill because it’s easier for me to visually cancel out the transactions as they’re processed without having to do the math. So if my Verizon bill is $150 I transfer $150 and in the memo I write Verizon and so on. Then when I go online and pay my bills and they are all processed as I’ve expected them to be. The bonus here? Out of site out of mind. I’m not going to accidentally spend my rent money on say groceries because I thought the check was already processed. I’ve moved all of the bill money to the bill account and what’s left in my regular debit account is what I can spend.

So this, my friends, is what brings me peace of mind. That beautiful illusive satisfaction of knowing I’m not going to financially drown because I’ve sacrificed just a little. In the end, we’re both ok. I hope it helped someone out there! I’d love to know your thoughts on this, so leave a comment below!